8 Signs Your Marriage Needs You to Be Less Busy

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Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh, and chances are it’s time to laugh in your marriage, especially if you’ve gotten too busy. In our book, When Couples Walk Together, my husband and I explored the benefits of laughing together. Yes, life is serious, and apparently busy.

But your marriage may be dying for some laughter. And if it is, you’re obviously too busy.

My brother works as an analyst and code-breaker for the FBI. At times he deals with disturbing matters that he doesn’t want to take home with him. Because of that, he sees the value of looking for comedic events throughout the day to share with his wife, who is a second-grade teacher and does the same.

This helps keep laugher in their marriage and sanity in their lives. Each evening they share the humorous events of their separate days and make sure the other knows all about their interactions at work so they better understand the funny events that occur.

They even come up with code names for people so they can talk or laugh about it with some privacy in front of their children. Sometimes you have to go covert with the funny things you share. But that creates a bond, too.

And keeping laughter in your marriage not only eases the stress, it keeps you talking and being deliberate and intentional in your marriage so you don’t let busyness or the burdens of the day overtake your marriage, too.

8. More Than Six Months Has Passed Since the Two of You Went Away Together

If you’re not getting away together at least twice a year, just you and your spouse, then you’re definitely too busy (or your marriage is not a priority).

Most jobs allow at least two weeks of paid vacation a year. If you don’t get that, there are weekends. If either of you is working without at least two days off a week, you’re putting work or finances or the need to be busy over the health of your marriage. Make the sacrifice.

My husband hasn’t had paid vacations in several years, now that he’s working two part-time jobs. Yet, we save all year to make up for his time off so that we can have some extended time together.

What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of your marriage? What are you willing to invest so the two of you can have a closer connection?

Work can wait. The job can wait. In-laws and friends and expectations others have on you can wait. But perhaps your marriage can’t.

You didn’t commit “til death do us part” to your employer or even your extended family. Invest in what matters most or make it a matter of prayer so that you can. God honors your desire to invest time in your marriage.

Bring Him into the picture, surrender to His ways, and see Him come through for you by providing the rest you need.

For more on improving your communication with your spouse, see Cindi’s books, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, and 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband. And for more on living a less busy life, see her books, When Women Long for Rest, and When You’re Running on Empty.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Antonio Diaz

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Source link When it comes to sustaining a relationship, there are a lot of factors at play. One of the most important aspects is that of having proper communication and making time for one another. If you are constantly busy and don’t take the time to be physically and emotionally present in the marriage, then it can start to take a toll on the relationship. Here are eight signs that your marriage may need you to be less busy in order to make it work.

1. Spending Too Little Time Together – If you and your partner are rarely spending any quality time together, it can cause tension in the relationship and lead to feelings of disconnection and loneliness.

2. Arguments & Disagreements Increase – Are arguments and disagreements becoming more frequent? Lack of communication can quickly have a negative effect on your marriage, leading to more frequent arguments and disagreements.

3. Avoidance – If your busy schedule is causing you to avoid engaging in meaningful conversations or spending time together, it will create a gap in your relationship and create the potential for resentment.

4. Tired and Worn Out – Does spending time with your partner feel like a chore rather than a privilege? If so, then your marriage needs you to be less busy in order to allow yourself the opportunity to relax and enjoy your partner’s company.

5. Intimacy Suffers – Are you and your partner struggling to connect on an intimate level? Intimacy is essential for maintaining a healthy and vibrant marriage, and if your lack of time together is causing a disconnect, then it’s time to reassess the situation.

6. You’re Losing Sight of Priorities – Is your marriage becoming less of a priority compared to your work or other obligations? If you don’t make an effort to spend quality time and invest in your marriage, it can slowly start to fade away.

7. Changes in Communication – Is communication becoming more and more strained? If you are rarely having meaningful conversations, then it is becoming more difficult to maintain a connection.

8. Feeling Unfulfilled – Are you feeling unfulfilled in your marriage? If so, then it is up to you to dedicate more time and attention to your relationship.

If you are noticing any of these signs in your marriage, it is important to take action and be more mindful of how much time you are devoting to your partner. Dedicating as little as one hour a day to your marriage can make a dramatic difference in its overall health and wellbeing.