April 15, 2024

I was sure that somewhere a grandiose carnival was going on in the sky and I was missing it.

2 min read

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Eve Babitz,
writer, visual artist”/>



Eve Babitz,
writer, visible artist”/>

I was absolutely sure that somewhere a grandiose carnival was likely on in the sky and I was missing it.





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Supply url On a particularly somber evening, I was reminded of a feeling I had felt only once before. I had been looking up at the night sky, when all of a sudden, I had a strong sense that a grandiose carnival was taking place in the heavens. I couldn’t see it, but I was sure of it. The stars twinkled with mysterious mirth and a feeling of joy hung in the air, making it seem like the night itself was holding its breath in anticipation.

I was filled with a distinct loneliness and feelings of sorrow that brought a mist of tears to my eyes. I felt like I was the only one who could not see this remarkable occurrence. It was like I was on the outside looking in, unable to truly take part in the joy of the celestial celebration.

For a moment, I was dumbfounded with a wave of envy, but I quickly realized how silly that was. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden realization that despite my inability to take part in the festivities, for I was in my own little world and the carnival seemed so near yet so very far from my reach.

The thoughts of a magnificent carnival being held secretly in the sky had warmed my heart and made me feel hopeful. I now knew that there will always be joy in this world to be found and that I should be content knowing that even I can’t be a part of them, there will still be grandiose celebrations out there that I’m missing.